Why do I bother??

Why do I even bother explaining myself to you?? Why do I try so much for you to understand me? Why do I bother, when you don’t give a damn?? You definitely don’t care about how I feel.

It’s so very sad and heartbreaking. I always end up feeling guilty over my emotions. I end up resenting myself for being so emotionally weak, but I can’t help it.

Actually I hate myself for it.

I hate myself for not being able to control my emotions. I hate myself for not being able to be stronger. I hate myself for showing you my weaknesses. I hate myself for being so vulnerable before you. I resent this helplessness.

I wonder to myself, why?? Why do I even bother?? Why do I even try to show you my pain?? Why do I, when you provide no comfort at all??

PS: I thought of cutting myself today. I even tried, but the blade was too blunt. It wouldn’t cut.

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